Thursday, Jul 10, 2008

the Dragon Y2K

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Based upon the Raven by Edgar Allan Poe

(Very badly too ... :) )

the Dragon Y2K

Once upon a high end query, while I sat weak eyed and bleary,
Staring at a large and oversized Information store,
I felt myself a snoozing, but not a result of boozing,
As dreams felt floating, floating to a quieter shore,
But I bolted up blinking, blinking at a screen that was winking
Making me forget quickly about some magical land or lore

But A time I do remember, A dark and fateful past December,
When times were grim and people were feeling down
A cry went to the street, a pounding of the feet
"Too few numbers they did use!" said the many with a frown
Their eyes popped wide open, the industry has spoken
The Beast was about to crawl out and show its face to the town

This problem must not linger, and with a blasting of the finger
Many a coder was brought forth from forgotten past
COBOL code was dug back out, "An EXTRA TWO" they did shout,
Lines were rewritten in a flurry from the first to the last
Hollerith readers were brought in, to re-read the ancient sin,
Created by coders who who's own code they did not outlast.

But the ancients were heard to find, and companies were in a bind,
"Hire those that will" and we will make it worth their while
And so the schools shoved out, many a talented and helpless lout
"Code or DIE" they screamed as they thrown upon the pile
And with a shrieking of the masses, as they exited their classes
The gathered slowly to the dreaded COBOL Isle

And so the task began, for it was a simple plan.
Change from two to four and recompile it at the end
And then the problems came to all, With this task we may fall
For it was not just COBOL code that was hit with this bend
Pascal, Forth and Basic too, twas like opening up a zoo
The problems came forth and more they had to mend

And then the nightmare grew, the many were not few
For they dug into other problems that were not seen
VCR's and Airplanes were checked, sometimes things turned out wrecked
For they were also from times that'd been
Car computers "Please no way", Other things they could not say
But the dragon Y2K crawled it's way out to the scene

And so the battle came, our goals were all the same
For one short moment peace seemed a possible goal
For we were united as one, in this twisted mirky fun
To take up the swords and take down the beasts role
Quoth the world stand away, we will smite down Y2K
and soon we shall spit it remains to a bowl

A Great united cause, for nobody would ever pause
to allow this creature to become free
Company bonuses did ensue and Incentives from Governments flew
to strike down the power of this creature from ancient "C"
Old systems were thrown out, to fight these evil lout
Cascades and upgrades were performed to have the dragon flee.

The battle continued on, our time was almost gone
to eliminate the fouls we once did make and play
The coders were a quivering, the people were a shivering
Time was coming soon, we may all go away
The beast it sat there grinning, for it would soon be winning,
"Fear me now, for I am the dragon Y2K"

The Dragon licked it lips, the people had many slips
and falls as they tried to fight it down
Missiles launched without trying, as their time they thought was flying
as many more glitches and errors made us frown
But the dragon sat there with a smile, an evil grin to cover the while
It's stomach grumbled in anticipation as it moved towards the town.

The coders said "Do or DIE", It became there battle cry
for they would not go down without a fight
The Dragon let it shout, it would not let them out
For this time was its own, it would let fire in the night
Microsoft and IBM, Apple TOO became friends
to strike down this unseemly blight

But Commodores did still exist, within our very midst,
old Apples, Tandys and Osbornes were still alive and well
And the programs they still went, thought many of the systems were spent
processors and memory worn out long before the nell
So nobody thought twice, to correct that silly vice
Data was brought over, systems rewritten, their hearts dropped in the well

The beast was snarling loudly, it snapped it jaws so proudly
It roared its head to the very sky
Fear me now your time is short, I shall have you all soon for sport
The dragon Y2K snapped its jaws and began to fly
It's claws they were a gleaming, and in truth it was a seeming
That soon, our time on this planet would be nigh

Stories they began to float, reporters told and wrote
of terrifying sights that would happen during that day
Planes and satellites would be falling, the Russians would be calling
to warn of of the dangers and creatures about to play
The world it was ending, and our sins though they were mending
were about to claim us all on the night of Y2K

Friends and familys joined as one, Let's all just have some fun
Old enemies were forgiven this short time
For in this night if were are wrong, what is the problem with some song
For in this world, happiness cannot be a crime
And so for a short bit, nobody yelled or had a fit
About petty things before that death bell would chime

But the dragon yelled to all, for soon you will fall
to the errors created in your own way
I will fly to town and sea, my presence it will be
forever written in books and not forgotten today
For I am the mighty creature, in films they did feature
The dreaded, vicious and might dragon Y2K.

So we hid inside our home, Better to be alive and not alone
Sat down upon a chair to ponder our plight
The night it was not pleasing, for the beast it was teasing,
taunting me of that dreaded wight
I hugged my children, kissed my life, prayed to God to spare their life
Sat huddled in a corner to wait through this terrible night.

Sleep it did happen, But wait, what is this? This morning I did not miss!
I woke up to see the very lovely day!
Sun is gleaming, birds are singing, the church bells are dinging.
The dragon it seems did NOT come out to play
Time is here, a new day shows, The wind it gently blows,
And to the dragon I cry "Screw you Y2K!"

Posted by ye110wbeard at 7:21 PM |  MAKE A COMMENT  

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