LandofSilly

Server Bells

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 04:58:00 +0000

Jingle Bells has gone straight to Hell Server Bells Rushing down the hall, A Mom alert calls me Live Comm screams out help I really to to pee Panic cries to all the lights flash in the night Oh what a scary thing as I bolt on down that flight Warning Bells, Funny Smells Sparking in the Room Server's on fire Straights are dire And we seem to see our doom Warning Bells, Funny Smells Sparking in the Room Around the bend, I see my end And problems in the gloom The backup didn't run, The room it had no light And soon the sparks flew out Ruining my sight I thought I'd use the Force to make it all work well but Murphy and his rotten laws Had shot it all to Hell Warning Bells, Funny Smells Sparking in the Room Server's on fire Straights are dire And we seem to see our doom Warning Bells, Funny Smells Sparking in the Room Around the bend, I see my end And problems in the gloom AGAIN! Warning Bells, Funny Smells Sparking in the Room Server's on fire Straights are dire And we seem to see our doom Warning Bells, Funny Smells Sparking in the Room Around the bend, I see my end And problems in the gloom AIGH!

Oh Kitty Tree

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 04:52:00 +0000

Have your Cat sing along to "Oh Kitty Tree" :) Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree Garland and tinsel on you now Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree They hang upon your every bough Shiny spaghetti for a cat Cannot be beat and that is that Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree Cat hairballs are shining under thee Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree Each branch it has a shiny ball Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree It shines within our mighty hall Those shiny bits, those crunchy sounds It looks like the cat, has made more rounds Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree Our cats are not so bright you see Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, Your lights they shine so brightly Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, We guard and watch thee nightly We watch thee oh so carefully Because our cats chew on LEDS Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree Our cats now glow electrically

I Saw Bill Gates Dressing Santa Claus

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:58:00 +0000

Ooops! Another one for the Holidays folks! Original tune "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" I saw Bill Gates dressing Santa Claus Underneath the Server Rack last night He didn't see me there in my purple underwear He thought that I had gone home to my place without a care Then I saw Bill Gates pat old Santa Claus On his butt so jolly round and firm Oh it was not what I thought I'd seen 'Twas a mannequin in red and green Not him dressing Santa Claus that night

Slushie the Snowman

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 04:46:00 +0000

A little further Christmas Lunacy The "Slushie the Snowman" song. Slushie the snowman Was a giddy funny guy With a cheap old hat upon his head and single button eye Slushie the snowman Was a bad old dream they say Had a patch on one side to be his guide As he staggered out that day There must have been some magic in that eye patch that they found for when they put it on his head He said "Arrr hit the ground" Slushie the Snowman Got a sunburn bad it's true So he tried to run but with no feet he was stuck to there like glue. Hop down the sidewalk He scared the kids away With a dripping face his scary race had them run right off that day Melting and Sliding Avoiding Sewer Grates If he fell in one he'd be surely done Oh what a nasty fate He oozed right down the road that day right to a police stop He paused to produce his id Quick before he heard that SHOT Slushie the snowman Oozed away like a pile of slime But soon he said before he fled I'll see you all next time Drippety drip drip Drippety drip drip Look at Slushie Flow Drippety drip drip Drippety drip drip Into the piles of snow

Microsoft Twelve Days of Christmas

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:28:00 +0000

Dedicated to Steve Ballmer and his fine crew Happy Holidays from your Friendly Neighbourhood Friday Funny Guy Microsoft Twelve Days of Christmas On the first day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me A signed copy of Visual Studio On the second day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the third day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the fourth day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Fifth day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Sixth day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Six Hackers Hacking Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Seventh day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Seven IT Pros Six Hackers Hacking Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Eighth day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Eight coders coding Seven IT Pros Six Hackers Hacking Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Ninth day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Nine Bags of Ram Eight coders coding Seven IT Pros Six Hackers Hacking Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Tenth day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Ten Hot recruiters Nine Bags of Ram Eight coders coding Seven IT Pros Six Hackers Hacking Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Eleventh day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Eleven Drives a trashing Ten Hot recruiters Nine Bags of Ram Eight coders coding Seven IT Pros Six Hackers Hacking Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio On the Twelth day of Christmas Steve Ballmer Gave to me Twelve SQL Servers Eleven Drives a trashing Ten Hot recruiters Nine Bags of Ram Eight coders coding Seven IT Pros Six Hackers Hacking Five CANS OF JOLT Four Funny Fridays Three bags of Fritos Two boxes of Chiclets And a signed copy of Visual Studio

Rudolph the BBQ's Reindeer

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 17:36:00 +0000

Enjoy ... a Little over the edge Silliness for Christmas Sorry Rudolph, guess I'm getting coal :) You know Garlic and Caymen and Spicy and Honey Chewy and Crunchy and stuff that tastes funny But do you recall the most flavoured Reindeer of all? Rudolph the Barbequed Reindeer Covered in a Honey Glaze He got cooked up by Santa Cuz he'd had himself some better days All of the other reindeer Watched him roll upon the spit The licked their lips and they watched They didn't seem to mind a bit They one hungry Christmas Eve Santa was so late Rudolph so glazed and crunchy now Won't you come on and fill my plate? Then how the reindeer loved him as they revelled in that tasty smell Rudolph the Barbequed Reindeer You'll go down really well

Dead Cisco Sketch - I'm and IT PRo Song

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 13:19:00 +0000

Special Thanks to Monty Python, for the original LumberJack Song for without this would never have happened. Extra special thanks to Mitch Garvis for planting the idea in my head. He can take some of the blame :) Karaoke-version from www.karaoke-version.com Re-edits to source Karaoke by Sean P. Kearney The Dead Cisco Sketch "'Ello Hack?" "Who you calling a Hack." "Sorry, me lungts are full of sheetrock. Look Never mind that, I wish to register a complaint" "Sorry we're closed for upgrades..." "Never mind tryin that. I would like to complain about this 24 port switch, I purchased from this very shop nary a half an hour ago" "ahhh yes, the uh... the Uh Cisco Catalyst. What's uh... What's wrong with it?" "I'll tell you whats wrong with it. It's completely dead! That's whats wrong with it" "No it's not. It's in power saving mode. Beautiful switch the Cisco. Pretty lights." "The lights have nothing to do with it. It's completely dead!" "It's not dead, it's in power saving mode. Pretty lights eh?" "Right then. If it was working fine, why did it do nothing when it got back to my site" "The Cisco normally operates in a low power mode on startup. Most likely a delayed startup to preseve the capacitors. Beautiful design. Such a nice colour" "Now explain to me then, why when I arrived on site did it split apart and fall into two halves on the floor..." "The cisco Catalyst self disassembles for easy storage. Lovely switch. What a nice name." "Now let me explain something to you. I found out the only reason this switch was in one piece when I got it... Was that it had been nailed together." "Well of COURSE it was nailed together! Look if I hadn't nailed those two halves together, the cpu processing power would have overcame the case, bent it in half with the heat and you'd have seen it launch into the air like a rocket... *WHOOSH*" "Look you, this switch wouldn't *WHOOSH* or *HUM* or *GROANT* if you shoved a stick of dynamite inside of it. It's completely dead." "It's not dead. It's in power saving mod...." "It's NOT is power saving mode, it's dead. Kaput. Useless. A doorstop. Bereft of power and functionality, it's become another "Brick in the Wall". If you hadn't nailed those two halves together, it would have become Book Ends on Steve Ballmers bookshelf. THIS is a DEAD SWITCH!" "....Hmmm... well I guess I better replace it then..." "Thank you." moment later "Uh sir, I just checked the back room and we're right out of Cisco Catalysts." "I see..." "I could get you an Arcnnet passive hub..." "Pray does it crosslink to a Cat 7 network?"!" "Not Really." "Well it's only a @#%#@$@#$ Replacement!!!" ------------------- The IT PRo Song I never wanted to do this job in the first place. I always wanted to be.... to be.... AN IT PRO! Piano Music (guy in the background, screaming and fading out. "Get Back here you. I'll get you for this. Slimy little" Swinging from light fixture to light fixture Diving in to Ciscos and Junipers Crawling through ceiling tiles and eating sheetrock Pulling wires! Living off the soda machine! Playing with Raids and Clusters. Flying through infrastructure setups Rebuilding SQL Tables for Fun! Fighting viruses and destroying evil. Saving the day every night With my Fluke Meter by my side! As I sing I sing I SING! OHhhhhh I'm an IT PRO and I'm OK I work all night and I drink all day He's an IT PRO and HE'S OK HE WORKS ALL NIGHT AND HE drinkS ALL DAY I SETUP RAIDS and BACKUPS TOO Strengthen the back end I help out all the users I like to be their friend. He's Set's up Raids and Backups too He's strengthen's the back end He helps out all the users and likes to be their friend He's an IT PRO and HE'S OK HE WORKS ALL NIGHT AND HE drinkS ALL DAY I terminate and demarcate, And run Cat 6e wires I look for packs of matches and try to start small fires He terminates and demarcates, And runs Cat 6e wires He looks for packs of matches and tries to start small fires? He's an IT PRO and HE'S OK HE WORKS ALL NIGHT AND HE drinkS ALL DAY I fix the mail, And servers too And race right down the hall And if you refuse to pay me I'll whiz upon the wall He'll fix the mail, and servers too and race right down the hall And if you refuse to pay him He'll whiz upon the wall?! EeeeEwwwwww!!!!!! "I guess nobody wants to go Hooters then..." In Unison "HOOTERS!" klump klump klump I'm (He's) an IT Pro and I'm (He's) ok I (he) work all night and I (he) drink all day I'm (He's) an IT Pro and I'm (He's) ok I (he) work all night and I (he) drink all day

An IT Pro - Yeah the right Rockin' one!

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 19:06:38 +0000

Sing it to AC/DC's TNT. Karaoke Version from www.karaoke-version.com My apologies to your ears! HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK See me ride up in my Prius. Pretty color green Loaded up all pure brains I take in the scene Problems to the left of me and nightmares to the right I blink and quickly they go away Through the night Cuz I am an IT Pro I eat Dynamite An IT PRO Bugs in my site An IT Pro Watch them hackers pray An IT Pro I blow them away! I'm dirty, I'm nasty I can smell real bad I work all night long I knock out your problems without a sound Lock up your passwords Lock up your food Lock up the Jolt Run away from this dude Your server has gone and crashed Here's your Superman. Cuz I a m an IT Pro I eat Dynamite An IT PRO Bugs in my site An IT Pro Watch them hackers pray An IT Pro I blow them away! Big big big big big big ---- SOLO!!! An IT PRO HACk HACk HACK An IT PRO HACK HACK HACK An IT PRO HACk HACk HACK An IT PRO HACK HACK HACK AN IT PRO I eat Dynamite AN IT PRO Bugs in my site AN IT PRO Watch them hackers pray AN IT PRO I blow them away! Wildly exploding guitar and strong smell of OZONE... *POP*

Hey Hyper-V

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:45:00 +0000

Original Song by the "Gin Blossoms" - "Hey Jealousy" Karaoke Version from www.karaoke-version.com Double inspiration from Hyper-V and listening to the Twitters of BillGatesZune :) I asked the boss if it's alright To let the system crash tonight It's running an 8 bit application That's from twenty years ago It's running on an old IBM XT Under a giant rat's nest tree It's based on Arcnet and Novell 2 Now just what we gonna do? I found a solution that is sound The cost is low and I have found A way to carry the past into the light of day With Hyper-V Yeah Hyper-V Oh Hyper-V Yeah Hyper-V Turn the many into one Can be a great big bowl of fun A more efficient use of power And resources we can have Implementing is not a chore A role to add not much more Creating machines is such a breeze Won't bring you to your knees I found a solution that is sound The cost is low and I have found A way to carry the past into the light of day "Virtualization can take place in many forms and offers many wonderful solutions in to many people. You can use it simply to consolidate hardware, you can use it to reduce power costs, or simply as a efficient disaster recovery plan. An added hidden bonus is environmental, less power and hardware used is a benefit to the environment." I found a solution that is sound The cost is low and I have found A way to carry the past into the light of day With Hyper-V Yeah Hyper-V Oh Hyper-V Yeah Hyper-V Get Virtual Now Get Virtual Now Get Virtual Now Virtualize Now Get Virtual Now Get Virtual Now Get Virtual Now Virtualize Now I found a solution that is sound The cost is low and I have found A way to carry the past into the light of day With Hyper-V Yeah Hyper-V Oh Hyper-V Yeah Hyper-V A chance to save future in your hands Spreading throughout the many lands

Ballmer Vs. Kearney

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 20:32:00 +0000

Inspired by the following post on Blogs.technet.com http://blogs.technet.com/canitpro/archive/2008/10/20/ballmer-vs-kearney.aspx Once I saw the title... I couldn't hold back... And yes *I* amd the beast not Mr. Ballmer :) Cheers and enjoy. Hopefully Mr. Ballmer hears this someday and does not ruin a keyboard spitting some soda drink on it... The Friday Funny Guy

Techdays_CA 2008

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:11:42 +0000

Check it out. Canada Wide Conference www.techdays.ca Register before October 15th 2008 for the best

The Day The Stocks all Died

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:04:00 +0000

Based upon Don McLean's "American Pie" Karaoke Version from www.karaoke-version.com Hope this all works out, Maybe you can sing and feel sillier and laugh about it some day. It the meantime here is "The Day the Stocks All Died" Long long time go, I remember when Mom and Dad they got a house It had a variable rate you see , and it had no money down Signed right off by some goofy clown Then one day a bank went broke Then two or three more, they took a choke The money was not there for spendin' Their reign it was an endin' And all those loans they took on out And didn't collect, those dumb old lout Investors phreaked and the people shout The day the stocks, all died. And I'm singing My My watching stock markets die High risk bankers all got tankered and they left us to fry And all those loans make your mom and dad cry Sayin' bank account' completely gone dry Yeah Bank account's completely gone dry Yeah find them all and kick them down String those Lehman guys up around Drop them into a big hole in the ground Yeah everyone shove them in the grass Stuff those crappy loans right up their ass Let them see how it feels to get screwed Watch those fingers jab left and right Blaming each other in the fight The stocks they took a dive Oh God did any survive?? And the world leaders I admired most Buggered off to a trip right down the coast When we called and they were weeded most The day the Stocks all Died I said My My watching stock markets die High risk bankers all got tankered and they left us to fry And all those loans make your mom and dad cry Sayin' bank account' completely gone dry Yeah Bank account's completely gone dry Well the bailout was flushed cuz the congress was week bunch of guys that were spineless and meek smart as a bunch of fleas and the Dow dropped down and it made a splash Watch those investments turn to zero cash Cuz money, just doesn't grow, from trees Well the congress went and ran away Buried their gold for another day It' Lehman's fault they said Now those loans are burnt and dead Watch those investors run an yell panicing away in the scary nell as their money went straight to hell the Day the Stocks all Died. And I'm singing My My watching stock markets die High risk bankers all got tankered and they left us to fry And all those loans make your mom and dad cry Sayin' bank account' completely gone dry Yeah Bank account's completely gone dry

ITPro Toronto - Theme Ballad

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 15:04:28 +0000

For www.itprotoronto.ca Free user Group based in Toronto Ontario. Meeting the third Tuesday of every month. No fees, no registration, just bring your mind, your passions and your desires. Oh hey and a laptop never hurts... :) What can it hurt? You might even make a friend. Is that so bad? Of course this is just an idea I had. This is about as unofficial as they come. I keep saying if somebody ELSE would sing, this would all sound a lot better... :) Original Tune from "The Scorpions" - "Still Lovving You" Karaoke version from www.karaoke-version.com ITPro Toronto Theme Ballad One Tuesday Night A place to let out your mind IT's ITPro Toronto A place out of time Expanding thoughts for one night IT's ITPro Toronto Lost found my way a place I can my home IT Pro Toronto Join one and all Good friends and good pizza for you It's ItPro Toronto Roaming One and All Gathering all through the night A place for common thought Fantasy can take flight Wonders that you can see On the edge of technology Monthly on that Tuesday A day you can play I'm an ITPro Thoughts spark that night Conceptualize what can do It's ITPro Toronto The cost, not a bit Just an hour or two to sit down It's ITPro Toronto Roaming One and All Gathering all through the night A place for some common thought Fantasy can take flight Wonders that you can see On the edge of technology Monthly on that Tuesday A day you can play Roaming One and All Gathering all through the night A place for some common thought Fantasy can take flight Wonders that you can see On the edge of technology Monthly on that Tuesday A day you can play I'm An ITPro In Toronto I'm an ITPro In Toronto Join the ITPros

Friday Funny Guys parody of cool theme for TechDays_CA 2008 ... :)

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 21:14:07 +0000

Original Music "I Was Made for Lovin' You" by "KISS" Karaoke Version from www.karaoke-version.com This is just a goofy funky idea I had. Yes, the singing sucks. The lyrics are weird. But it's a Sunday and I had to get this out of my head. TechDays are Here Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooooo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooooo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooooo Come, oh and let it all hang out A Day for you and me Wrapped in technology Come, all you devs and IT Pros Open your mind on out Let yourself sing and shout Tech days are here now sing with baby Wrap yourself inside technology Infuse your mind with inspiration baby Tech days are here Now come and see Whoa, Oh upon your mind Get thoughts all fresh and new Pouring right into you Infused, right into your soul Stuff on the cutting edge Sparking into your sight Tech days are here now sing with baby Wrap yourself inside technology Infuse your mind with inspiration baby Tech days are here Now come and see Tech days are here now sing with baby Wrap yourself inside technology Infuse your mind with inspiration baby Tech days are here Now come and see Whooooa Inspiration sets me free Yeah Going and soaring Yeah Watch Yeah getting inspired Yeah Bits and Bytes Roaming through the night Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooooo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooooo Tech days are here now sing with baby Wrap yourself inside technology Infuse your mind with inspiration baby Tech days are here Now come and see Tech days are here now sing with baby Wrap yourself inside technology Infuse your mind with inspiration baby Tech days are here Now come and see Tech days are here now sing with baby Wrap yourself inside technology Infuse your mind with inspiration baby Tech days are here Now come and see Tech days are here now sing with baby Wrap yourself inside technology Infuse your mind with inspiration baby Tech days are here Now come and see

EBS 2008 - Fake Parody phony baloney Theme song - But it SHOULD have one.

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 21:59:00 +0000

There is another new system being released by a certain un-named software company. I keep telling them they need theme music. They don't believe me. :) Original song by "The Killers" - "Somebody Told Me" Karaoke Version from www.karaoke-version.com Essentials for You Gettin' on the web time to show our name Steppin' to the world time to get our new domain The system's in place and the backups up Edge Server's ready it can take the hit We're getting online thanks to EBS today Essential Business Server is here and now for those a little smaller than the Enterprise Steppin' right up steppin' right up now to grow EBS got us all the power we need Up out and ready Business is steady Triple threat power is holding us up now Protected by Forefront Exchage Server strengthened Resources are Balanced with Essential Business Server virtualize it all or you can spread it out A flexible solution you can use to spread and grow It's the bigger cousin to our friend SBS If you're beyond 70 users look at it Steppin' right up steppin' right up to grow EBS got us all the power we need Up out and ready Business is steady Triple threat power is holding us up now Protected by Forefront Exchage Server strengthened Resources are Balanced Growing financially We're here and spreading free A cost effective jump for us To step out into the cloud today Up out and ready Business is steady Triple threat power is holding us up now Protected by Forefront Exchage Server strengthened Resources are Balanced Up out and ready Business is steady Triple threat power is holding us up now Protected by Forefront Exchage Server strengthened Resources are Balanced Up out and ready Business is steady Triple threat power is holding us up now Protected by Forefront Exchage Server strengthened Resources are Balanced ESSENTIAL BUSINESS SERVER

Cougar is Out - SBS 2008 UnOfficial (only in my eyes) Theme Song the New to be released O/S a CERTAIN Software company

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 13:01:00 +0000

Sung along to "My Chemical Romance" and "Famous Last Words", people who can sing and write far beyond my meager abilities. Karaoke version of song from www.karaoke-version.com. Cheap and high quality Karaoke music! I always thought COUGAR was such a cool code word for an O/S. It made me sing. Now we're all sorry. Cougar is Out Meow It's comin Released and from it's cage The Cougar's out the Cougar's out Meow Come on now Don't you see it purrin' at your side The power is yours The Power is yours Plug in Load it Into your server now The power at hand get your business up and running Get Energized Go online and see all your staff productive Get Unified Tie your systems all together It's yours! The Cougar has Released it's got me singin' SBS 2008 I've waited long I can't wait to start the implementin' 64bit power is pourin' throughout the LAN Power it up Live Onecare protects your way With Live Office tied as well To get that integration Into you now Oh can you Can you feel the integration Of code and mind A long time in the building The Cat's out The Cougar has Released it's got me singin' SBS 2008 I've waited long I can't wait to start the implementin' 64bit power is pourin' throughout the LAN The Cougar has Released it's got me singin' SBS 2008 I've waited long I can't wait to start the implementin' 64bit power is pourin' throughout the LAN Cuz It's here, and in my server now The cats at hand oh come and let it out Release the leash and Turn it loose Cuz It's here, and in my server now The cats at hand oh come and let it out Release the leash and Turn it loose Cuz It's here, and in my server now The cats at hand oh come and let it out Release the leash and Turn it loose Cuz It's here, and in my server now The cats at hand oh come and let it out Release the leash and Turn it loose The Cougar has Released it's got me singin' SBS 2008 I've waited long I can't wait to start the implementin' 64bit power is pourin' throughout the LAN The Cougar has Released it's got me singin' SBS 2008 I've waited long I can't wait to start the implementin' 64bit power is pourin' throughout the LAN The Cougar has Released it's got me singin' SBS 2008 I've waited long I can't wait to start the implementin' 64bit power is pourin' throughout the LAN The Cougar has Released it's got me singin' SBS 2008 I've waited long I can't wait to start the implementin' 64bit power is pourin' throughout the LAN

Forefront - Completely Literally Unofficial Theme Song

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 23:30:00 +0000

Yeah, I got bored. Somehow I decided Microsoft Forefront needed a theme song. Sung to AC/DC's Big Guns from Last Action Hero A Special shout out and dedication to a team I almost joined last year at the big M in Winnipeg. You know who you are and this is dedicated to you. "Forefront" Malware screaming at the firewall Systems straining away The terror in the wires is floating about Trying to ruin your day Picking them off and mowing them down Thanking the skies it's in place The cloud is full of worms roaming around trying to work their way in No worries at all No worries today Defences are up Protected today with Forefront Forefront Ports of steel Forefront Forefront Blasts them out of the net Digital fires are burning around, Hackers wailing away Viruses eyeing your video screen Trying to come out and play Spam blasters hitting port 25 Potential UCE's The whole world knocking at your back door Trying to look and see No worries at all No worries today Defences are up Protected today with Forefront Forefront Ports of steel Forefront Forefront Blasts them out of the net "Alright we've got an inbound bogey, I'm seeing about 50,000 inbound" "I'm on it team leader. Locking into bogeys. Inbound UCE's are being tracked." "Crew chief, steady there we're getting an overload in the main firewall." "Roger that. Downing bad node. Cluster has switched over." "Bogeys quashed. I repeat bogeys quashed." "Good job team." ForeFront, Malware at Bay Forefront, kick spam away Forefront, ready and locked Forefront, pow pow pow Forefront, stop 'em in time Forefront, drawin', drawin' the line. Forefront, knock 'em away Forefront, savin' the day. Forefront sent them packin' away.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenneger vs. The Cobol Paycheck Program

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 22:34:00 +0000

Just a little thought that ran through my head on what happens when a little computer deals with the Governor of California... :) No offense intended sir, COBOL is old, it's anicent, it's a pain in the butt.

JobsBlog Now

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:25:17 +0000

Original Music "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZtop Karaoke version from "www.karaoke-version.com" Great online choices for karaoke music. the JobsBlog is an online resource handled by people inside Microsoft Corporation that give all of us outsiders a view inside their world. It's a springboard to bounce off questions about Microsoft, joining Microsoft, or maybe just to say Hello. http://blogs.msdn.com/jobsblog A little place I find inspiration from time to time until the day they hire me. Hopefully. How many toes can I cross without causing permanent damage? Lyrics by Sean Kearney, aka ye110wbeard the Friday Funny Guy JobsBlog Theme song - UNOFFICIAL - DEFINITELY UNOFFICIAL!!! Online, check it out People there make you scream and shout Friendly faces, right online Answer questions almost anytime Your smiling faces from Microsoft land Every nerd is checking out the jobsblog now Anne is there, Priya too Ginny, Angela oh what a zoo! Gretchen, Jenna will answer you Janelle as well, what cha gonna do? They'll tell you stories, they'll give you a hand Every nerd is checking out the jobsblog now When you're there, drop a line Say hello and spend some time Read the stories, while you're there Get real comfy, sit right in your chair It's your front door to Microsoft land Every nerd is checking out the jobsblog now

Stand and Shout - Hyper-V's Out Now

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:16:00 +0000

Original song by Green Day - Wake me Up when September Ends Karaoke version from www.karaoke-version.com. Great prices and selection! Re-written by Sean Kearney the Friday Funny Guy aka ye110wbeard Stand and Shout - Hyper-V's Out now System has gone and passed The hardware died it wouldn't last Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now Archive the ancient ones Breathe life into the legacy Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now Pentiums and MFM's Whining in the night Virtualize them all away End the noisy fright The night it goes and cools away I watch the A/C get turned away Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now System has gone and passed The hardware died it wouldn't last Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now Load it up right on the core Hypervisor with a 64 Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now Pentiums and MFM's Whining in the night Virtualize them all away End the noisy fright No more wasted megawatts The Power is mine in a single box Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now Extra licenses thrown right in Datacenter and the Enterprise Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now The future's goodbye to past Looking forward no going back Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now Stand and shout - Hyper-V's out now

Applicant Blues - Yeah Baby

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:43:52 +0000

Sing yer bad days to the Blues to feel better. Not a poke at Microsoft. But this is the "Applicant Blues" - Hire me and shut em up... :) Woke up this morning Eyes dried up and red Was busy all night typin' Didn't get to bed I've got the 8000 resumes applying to Microsoft Blues Sent some more circumvaes to Redmond, and Winnipeg too Trying so hard I'm not sleepin' Now I've got the flu I've got the 8000 resumes applying to Microsoft Blues I offered to clean the floors I'd tried to to mop them all But they knew it was Mr. Trouble Booted me down the hall I've got the 8000 resumes applying to Microsoft Blues I sang for Mr. Ballmer I sang for Mr. Gates They didn't even hear me I'll leave it to the fates I've got the 8000 resumes applying to Microsoft Blues Oh yeah I've got the 8000 Resumes Applying to Microsoft blues

An IT Pro - WARNING BADLY SUNG!

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:38:48 +0000

AN IT PRO Sing it to AC/DC's TNT. Play it, it'll sound better than me on this cheap $10 classic guitar I found at Goodwill. My apologies to your ears! Mmm HACK WHACK HACK WHACK HACK WHACK See me ride up in my Prius. Pretty color green Loaded up all pure brains I take in the scene Problems to the left of me and nightmares to the right I blink and quickly they go away Through the night Cuz I am an IT Pro I eat Dynamite An IT PRO Bugs in my site An IT Pro Watch them hackers pray An IT Pro I blow them away! I'm dirty, I'm nasty I can smell real bad I work all night long I knock out your problems without a sound (but maybe a song) Lock up your passwords Lock up your food Lock up the Jolt Run away from this dude Your server has gone and crashed Here's your Superman. Cuz I a m an IT Pro I eat Dynamite An IT PRO Bugs in my site An IT Pro Watch them hackers pray An IT Pro I blow them away! Big big big big big big ---- SOLO!!! An IT PRO HACk HACk HACK An IT PRO CHOP CHOP CHOP An IT PRO HACk HACk HACK An IT PRO URP URP URP AN IT PRO I eat Dynamite HACk HACk HACK Bugs in my site CHOP CHOP CHOP Watch them hackers pray URP URP URP I blow them away! Wildly exploding guitar and strong smell of OZONE... *POP*

Mr.Ballmer - My Personal Serenade to Steve Ballmer of Microsoft

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:57:00 +0000

Original music "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy Osborne (No relation to Ray Ozzie who's probably a pretty decent guy) Rewritten lyrics by Sean Kearney the Friday Funny Guy "Mr. Ballmer." "Oh my God the Friday Funny Guy's out of his cage!" "Why did we ever inspire him?" "Run! He's applying to Redmond! He's applying to Redmond!" Mr. Ballmer, please come hire me today Oh Mr. Ballmer, I'm not here just to play I'll work every day and each hour, and weekends too To get myself up to your speed, that's what I am willing to do Mr. Ballmer, I am crying to you Oh Mr. Ballmer, I do know what to do I'm poor and I'm broke but got talent inspired to fly Gimme a shot, bring me in now Hire this poor Friday Funny Guy "Hey Steve Ballmer, Look what do we got to do to stop this guy from singing, once and for all?" "Apparently sir, all you have to do is hire him, just hire him." Mr. Ballmer, oh I wrote you a song Oh Mr. Ballmer, and it didn't take long Microsoft brings the spark in my eyes, launches me into the night Please meld my skills, bring me up now Help me let my passion take into flight Let me start anywhere, I just need to work today I just wanna work, wanna work for you..... And your software makes me sing and I wanna dance and shout wanna dance and shout for you Just hire him now! He's tenacious! He's willing to do anything! Hire him and stop him from bugging the Canadians. He's learned from his dumb mistakes in the past, take advantage of him. FOCUS HIS PASSION. If an individual, is insprired so simply by meeting people at Microsoft, is willing to sing off key and embarass himself, what happens when you hire him and focus that passion? I leave it to you sir. And if for any reason Steve Ballmer of Microsoft DOES hear this and would like to contact me and give that shot to me, I can be reached at funnyfridaysguy@landofsilly.com. And I take that seriously.

Microsoft MVP Theme Song - UNOFFICIAL

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:59:38 +0000

Let me be quite clear. Microsoft is in no way sanctioning, creating, backing or even listening to this (Well maybe listening, I hope at least) This was done as a Funny Friday last summer. I really wanted to put it to music. I hope it does it justice. Karaoke version of "Secret Agent Man" from www.karaoke-version.com This is NOT a poke at the MVP program. I admire on the highest level the stars within the program. Industry specialists. Sung to "Secret Agent Man" Circa cool '60s spy show When the servers crashin' in the night Sparks are flyin' such an awful sight Data can't be found and the problems all around Who's the ones that bring you so much light They're the MVPs, Microsoft MVPs Why bother with the rest, they are the very best Hackers tryin' to blow in through your door Smoke is rollin' up below the floor The day feels at and end, where's you only friend? The experts blink and clear it all away They're the MVPs, Microsoft MVPs When you get that server crash, they solve it in flash Bill Gates files are scrambled through and through Steve Ballmer cries out "What can we all do?" Paul Allen's had enough, even though they're very tough Who will they call to knock it all away? They're the MVPs, Microsoft MVPs Nightmares run away, they're here to save the day...

Acting the Final Frontier - Micro Trek

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 14:15:43 +0000

Space the final frontier. These are the voyages of the United Starship Microprize. It's forever mission, to explore strange new code. To seek out life in new compilations. To boldy code what nobody has coded before! Gates Trek.... (picture cool theme music that nobody will get out of their head for billions of years!) Captain's log. Stardate A100.2000.1223.BFED and a half. We are looking at what appears to be a "DingDong" Apple Cruiser. Klaxons sound. Lights flash. People run about with arms flailing. The occasional set piece falls on the ground. "Keppin keppin." "Try again in English Hotty" "WHAT?!" "Sorry, I was thinking about that 'alien' I enountered last night." "Stop that! We all know you've copulated enough to populate the ENTIRE universe... and then some... STOP Bragging!" "Sorry... hee hee.... Mr Blotto, what is the problem." "Aside from the fact that I drank too much stuff that was 'Green', we're stuck in a time loop, I've Tribbles eating EVERYTHING in site, computers crashing, Dead aliens in the hallway... No no no... nothing REALLY to say now that you mention." "Ok ... so all in all a 'normal' day?" "Aye, well 'cept for the dilithium crystals." "What is it with them this time. Worn out. They need regeneration? We have overused them. We need to make an Antimatter bomb? What?" "Well... it's a wee problem." "What Mr. Blotto?" "Uhhh....welll.....you see.....They've been virtualized." .... "Try again Mr. Blotto?" "Virtualized.... You know, converted to computer virtual environment..." "Yes yes yes...I know all about it.... Why I remember this female crewmember who was in a virtual suite with me..." "KEPPIN!" "...Oh sorry... So the Dilithium crystals have been virtualized." "Yes" "So 'un-virtualize' them. Seems pretty obvious to me. It's even written in the script." "Well I would except that the 'De-virtual' program is still in Beta testing and we didn't pay the script writer. So...we...er... don't actually have an answer written." "WHAT!? You didn't pay the scriptwriter?!?! Are you mad?!" "It wasn't me Keppin. It was Mr. Pock." "Pock?" "Yes sir!" "Why didn't you pay the script writer?" "Well it didn't seem 'logical'." "Cut that out, that's a rip off from somebody else. That 'Nimoy' guy." "Well no it isn't. I thought if we pay the scriptwriter, I can't afford to get my new Quadcore this month." "...Ugh... illogical Mr Pock... illogical as always..." "Thank you sir. May I leave and pursue silly endeavours?" "Yes you may. Oh boy and I stressed." "Bums here." "... You know if one more crewmember appears with a name a little close to a certain Sci-fi series, we're going to get sued." "Shut up. I'm a doctor not a lawyer." "... and a really bad doctor at that. How did you get your medical license again?" "Brain dumps. I studied brain dumps!" "... As I figured. Ok people we have a problem here. The acting is bad, the punch lines are getting weak and the lack of creative names is getting to be a bit of an issue. Plus Paramount's Lawyers are on the line." *** GASP *** The entire crew suddenly realizes what they need is an unsolveable predicament. (Which they already should have considering the complete and lack of plot, cohesion, story line, script writer and apparently even a link to the beginning story part.... Didn't this start with the suggestion of a "funny computerish thing?) */*/*/ Overact modem on FULL \*\*\* "What...we...need...here......is a problem." The captain stammers horribly as if unable to breath. "Illogical Captain, we have a very BIG problem." Mr. Pock states. "Dammit I'm a doctor not a script-writer!" "....Aye... gimme some more green stuff.... " Slurs the chief engineer. "Pock! What...if we were to....no....this is just impossible." "Captain, the odds of impossibility are not there. However it could be highly improbable..." "Yes....Pock...THAT'S IT! We need to do something...completely improbable. Something nobody has EVER thought of before..." "No... you can't mean." "Acting lessons. We need to take...ACTING LESSONS. And possibly hire a good script writer. This unpaid one just isn't working out." "Captain?" "Yes Mr. Pock?" "Might I suggest we also send the chief engineer to 'AA'?" "Logical as always Mr. Pock. Logical as always."

Phone Hell

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 00:56:31 +0000

Parody of Hell's Bells. Original Song by AC/DC. Karaoke version from Track 16 AC/DC Volume 205 "Legends Series" Phone Hell I'm dialin' up and I hear the tone Operator answers, leaves me on the phone I sit in the queue for an hour or so Transferred to Brazil and around I go I won't get an answer, they'll transfer me I'm tied inside til eternity Alexander Graham Bell I'm blamin' you I'm trapped inside, right down inside Phone Hell Phone Hell, I'm stuck in the queue Phone Hell, Can't find what to do Phone Hell I'm callin' up, cuz I've gone insane Need tech support, I can't bear the pain No matter what I do, I get put on hold Start yellin' out for help, the line is gettin' cold. No one can answer me, No one's online They're just wastin' my precious time. Alexander Graham Bell I'm blamin' you I'm trapped inside, right down inside Phone Hell Phone Hell, I'm stuck on the phone Phone Hell, I feel so alone Phone Hell Phone Hell, Ma Bells torturin' you Phone Hell, Dial tones buzzin now That Phone Hell, those long distance calls Phone Hell, blame it all on me Phone Hell, transferred around the world Phone Hell, I scream and I moan Phone Hell, Useless as tits on a Bull Phone Hell, I blew up my phone "Waaaaaaahhhhhh...." Phone Hell

Bought and Xbox360

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:51:48 +0000

Xbox360 Sung to "Flavour of the Week - American Hifi" - cheap at the local online music store "eh?" My gamebox broke, I'm so damn bored, I'm countin spots upon the wall. I played it long, for 12 months straight, Can't wait to play again. I've been at ebGames all day long, up and down that wall so tall, I've that VISA card out now Atari, Nintendo, Sega and Playstation 2. I've owned them and used them, I'm runnin' out the door to get an XBOX 360 right now. I've set it up, the cables linked. I've got wifi through the room. The games they rock, I'm buyin' stock, cuz I can't stop the sonic boom. The sound it shakes apart the floor, and all my friends they want to play, they're lined up right outside my door. Vic-20 and Tandy. Apple and Coleco too. I've had them and used them I played them until they blew apart I bought an Xbox 360. --- cool scary solo time --- My XBOX 360, it smokes the house away It's so cool I just drool I can't fool I missed school My XBOX 360, theres goes the power bill No lights on No power But at least I can proudly say. I own an XBOX360. Yeah an XBOX360 There go the lights....

I am Caffeinated

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 13:48:21 +0000

Karaoke version of "I wanna be Sedated" from www.ramones.co.uk. Original Tune "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones. With HUGE apologies to the Ramones and "I Wanna Be Sedated" "I'm gonna be Caffeinated" Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go, I am caffeinated The server has crashed, I need to stay up, I am caffeinated Just drop me on the rack, with Timmies from a friend Pour about a gallon, drive me round the bend My body is a shaking, this might just be the end Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa! Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go, I am caffeinated The network is down, No sleep for me now, I am caffeinated The client is a screaming, he's a bloody pain Get him outta here before I go insane My fingers are a shaking, so's my freaking brain Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa! Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go, I am caffeinated They want their mail now, I'm not allowed home, I am caffeinated Just roll me a in a wheelchair, I can't stand on my feet I'll take a double double, my body is so beat My fingers fell right off, my mouth takes just like peat Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa! Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go, I am caffeinated My eyes are bloodshot and can't walk at all, I am caffeinated I'll take it in a cup, I'll take in a glass Pour it in me now, I'm laying on my ass Sorry for the lyrics, the words were rather crass Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa! Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated

SBS Now - Microsoft SBS EBS theme Song - UNOFFICIAL

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:45:35 +0000

SBS NOW - Based upon "Shot in the Dark - Ozzy Osborne" Ozzy Can sing. I cannot SBS NOW Open the door, start up the day Blinkin' lights look up and greet me Files are there, Calendars share Central faxes are there so sweetly Profits' are swellin', nobody's yellin' We're a growin' things are flowin' Don't have to drive all the way from my house There's remote access there for me Cuz I've got SBS NOOOOOW! Feel my business comin' through and I've got SBS NOWWWWW! Cost effective just for you! We're no longer a Small Business now, We're expanding and we're growin' We need more than one, to split up the fun Cuz The profits are a showin' I tell you my friend, beef up your back end Something stronger, last you longer To grow and expand, needs essentials you see to get the next level and how It's time for EBS NOW! Sales are flowin' out and true It's time for EBS NOW! Cost effective easy too Yeah it's time for EBS NOW! Enterprise is callin' you I'm doin' so well now, Times they are good I'll remember, yeah remember What started it all, and got me online Brought relief when I needed now We start with SBS NOOOWW! Friendly software helpin' you Up to EBS NOOOOWWWWWWW! Power smooth and steady true Now up to Enterprise now! Glad that we could help out you!